I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
