how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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