On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
