The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Your penis caused this!
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
