is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
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i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
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Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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