WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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