I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
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i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
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I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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