I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize
