I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
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