I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Randomize
