i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize