Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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