My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
