Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
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