The brown eye won't let me do that either.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
