my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
