im gay
i know
yea but for you.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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