i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
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