I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I want to be your penis for a week.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
