So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
