oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
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