..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize