Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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