Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
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