I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
