I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize