i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
