Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize
