some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
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