Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize