Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
