yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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