considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
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