I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
