i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
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