The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
