I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
