Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
