Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
