Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
The feeling are messing with the penis
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
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