You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
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He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
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the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
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