so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Randomize
