Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
