He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
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i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
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Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.