i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight