you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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