Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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