even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
