well I can't set my house on fire every night
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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