Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
