Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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