This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
