I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I just gargled with NyQuil
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
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