did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
