i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Randomize