You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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