dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
