Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
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