You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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