Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Randomize
