the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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