Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
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