I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
